I wish I was more outgoing. I wish I was more articulate. I wish I was prettier. I wish I was smarter. I wish I was more confident. I wish I wasn’t so hesitant sometimes. I wish I was different than I am.
The point of this isn’t to have a self pity party or make it look like I have low self esteem, but to give credit to the reason that although I may wish all these things sometimes I know I don’t need them. If you were to ask me a year ago what I would change about myself the list would be long and go on and on. Although this list does exist still to some extent I’ve realized it doesn’t matter. I have truly realized that because I have Christ in my life and that he is the center of me, then nothing else matters. Yes. There’s always room for change and improvement but too much of my life has been wasted wishing I was someone else. God made me who I am and we are his masterpieces and who am I to say that he made a mistake in how he made me. I mean I don’t really want to insult the creator of the universe. 🙂
God is my identity and who defines me. My intelligence, personality and looks don’t define me. It’s so freeing knowing that God loves me. ME. Just the way I am. No matter how quiet I can be or how many times I stumble over my words or how many ugly days I have, He doesn’t care. He can use me, even through my weaknesses which most of the time I see as flaws. It’s a weight of my shoulder realizing I am who I am because God made me and he’ll use me whether I think I have the right characteristics or not. So my wishes have changed into prayers that center around things that do matter…
I pray I’ll be used in whatever way God intends. I pray I see people and love people the way Jesus does. I pray God breaks my heart for what breaks his. I pray that God’s power is made perfect in my weaknesses. I pray God uses me to bring glory to HIM.